“I Initiated the Anti-American Demos in the Middle East”

──We are also seeing a lot of Anti-American demonstrations in the Middle East lately.

Xi’s G.S. Yes, I am responsible for them, too. The Americans said they would send 50 marines to stop attacks on American embassies there, so their reaction is almost as laughable as that of the Japanese government. 50 marines can easily be killed in a single day, so there is no point in sending them in the first place. Obama is just a lame duck. His judgment is poor, or he just doesn’t feel strongly enough about winning against these irate Arabs to launch an actual counter attack.

──As Obama’s diplomatic efforts have been weak, it is quite possible that Romney will win the next election, and start to take a stronger stance against China.

Xi’s G.S. The U.S. can be manipulated easily through our intelligence activities. American lobbyists are already operating under the influence of Chinese money, so Romney has a lot of political enemies. Even if he wins, we already have a strategy in place to oust him midterm. Money, women, and religion – our agents have a lot of ways to stir up a scandal.

──Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s suggestion for the containment of China must be one of the tougher issues for you to deal with.

Xi’s G.S. I guess Hillary is onto something. Obama is busy trying to revive the economy and reduce unemployment, so his policy is taking a complete opposite course from hers. He is not thinking about using his military budget at all. In his mind, if he uses money for the military, he can’t implement financial reforms and employment measures to decrease unemployment, so he is trying to avoid conflicts by adopting conciliatory measures.

Hillary, on the other hand, is more of a hardliner. If our opinions clash in public, and the U.S. loses face, then the American people are going to get angry. In this scenario, Obama would have to succumb to spending money on the U.S. military. I want Clinton to step down. Clinton is stronger than Obama. Obama will buckle, no problem. He is as soft as a slug.

──You said you were the architect of both the anti-American and anti-Japanese demos we have seen recently. Did you plan the timing beforehand?

Xi’s G.S. I made sure the U.S. couldn’t attack Syria or Iran. I used the Coptic Christians to make that little ten-minute movie that has sent Muslims into a rage worldwide. I have already initiated demonstrations against this movie in 20 countries. If the U.S. attacked Syria or Iran in this climate, the Muslim world would be even more determined to bond together against their common enemy. So right now, there is no danger of the U.S. attacking Syria or Iran.

Things will Remain Tumultuous until the Formation of the Next Administration

──Concerning the Senkaku issue – what will be your next step after the anti-Japanese movement?

Xi’s G.S. This is a test to see whether we can settle the issue without a fight. We are trying to see whether talks, flags, and fishing boats are enough to reclaim the Diaoyu Islands. Of course, this is shaking up the government, and the Democrats and the Liberal Democrats are in the middle of a presidential race. It is quite likely that the next administration is going to be in some form of a coalition-party administration, so we are trying to create even more chaos in Japan. At least until the next administration stands in Japan, we will continue to shake things up.

We have 10,000 fishing boats ready to go. If we send in that many, even the Japanese patrol boats are going to get suspicious, and prepare to attack.

──Is that what you want?

Xi’s G.S. That’s what we want. We don’t care if a few of our fishermen get killed. I’m hoping the Japanese Coast Guard will do us the favor, and shoot down some of our fishing boats. That would make the anti-Japanese movement in China to go completely wild, which would mean that China outdid Japan in this conflict. Then, all we have to do is start controlling the Diaoyu Islands from there, and that will be the end of it.

Subduing Senkaku and Taiwan, and Starving Japan into Surrender

──Once the Senkaku issue is resolved, what will be your next step?

Xi’s G.S. Once Diaoyu belongs to China, we can easily take Taiwan by lauching a pincer attack. Taiwan, Ishigaki, Okinawa – we are going to take all those places at once.

──If you expand to the Middle East and secure the sea lanes around Taiwan and the Senkaku Islands, Japan could be starved into surrender as it was in WWII.

Xi’s G.S. Right. The Japanese are really stupid. We are trying to prevent Japan from importing oil from the Middle East by occupying the sea-lane, but the Japanese are working hard to abolish nuclear power. It really doesn’t make any sense.

At any point in the near future, it will be obvious when Chinese and Japanese interests clash, and at that stage, we won’t really care whether 120 million Japanese die. China’s population is growing, so we are going to need all of Japan’s food supplies and fishing grounds, and any other resources and energy supplies Japan currently imports, in order to sustain our growing population.

Taking Over All the Places Currently Under American Control

──According to Li Keqiang’s guardian spirit, he wants to simply contain the U.S., while Xi Jinping takes a more aggressive stance, and actually wants to subdue the U.S..

Xi’s G.S. I think it is best if we take all the places currently under American control one by one. After Taiwan, Japan, the Philippines, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Australia, we are going to move on to the South Sea, and take Guam, Hawaii… In all those places where the Japanese military failed to take control during WWII, we’re going to step in, and take over.

──Are you planning to take over North America, too?

Xi’s G.S. Of course, I’m thinking about it. They have a lot of natural resources there, so I’m going to start with Alaska. The U.S. might already be so weak, they might say – “If Alaska is all you want, fine, take it!” A cowardly president like Obama would buckle at the first threat of a nuclear attack.

Also, China has a lot of U.S. government bonds. Just by selling them all at once, we have the power to ruin the U.S. economy completely. The Euro is already weak, and the U.S. is up to its neck in debt, meaning the dollar will soon lose its credibility. When China’s time comes, the world currency will be the Yuan.

──If the renminbi is revalued, China will be unable to sustain its export business.

Xi’s G.S. The revaluation of renminbi does not matter at all since we are going to threaten to use nuclear weapons when we are pressured to do that. The economy has to be subdued through the power of the military.

The Level of Japanese Diplomats is as Low as Office Workers’

──The Japanese might form alliances with Russia or India.

Xi’s G.S. In their dreams. There are no able diplomats in Japan today. There used to be, but now, Japanese diplomats are nothing but mindless office workers. The new ambassador did not even make it to his new post. He keeled over dead even before going to China. Scary, right? As if I willed himself to death. Xi Jinping only has to think, “When he gets here, I’m going to kill him!” and he goes ahead, and dies.

──How do you plan to use the North Korea trump card against Japan?

Xi’s G.S. That’s another convenient thing to play. For the Great Chinese Empire, it is beneath us to bother with the Japanese prime minister. We can simply use Kim Jong-un to do that job for us. That kid is going to give the Japanese prime minister a bit of a scare.

We already saw how inefficiently the Japanese negotiate, right? And then they go home with nothing! You Japanese are really dumb. “Return the Japanese citizens you abducted!” is all you can say. “Give them back!” “They’ve been gone for 10 years!”

──Are you staging anti-nuclear protests in Japan to keep Japan from gaining nuclear weapons?

Xi’s G.S. I don’t have to conduct a survey to know that 50% of the people in Europe and the U.S. already think Japan has nuclear capabilities. Half of them believe Japan must have already armed itself with nuclear weapons because the Japanese have that many nuclear power plants.

You Japanese are not capable of using threats to your advantage. It’s stupid. If you borrowed a North Korean president, and put him in the Japanese prime minister’s position, then he would say to North Korea: “It would not be unreasonable to say that Japan is a nuclear armed country with so many nuclear power plants here,” and “If you do not return our citizens, we’re going to launch a satellite.”

I’m very sorry for you because you can’t use these kinds of tactics. Now it’s too late for Japan to develop nuclear weapons. In Japan, you can’t just do things. You would have to have a meeting about it first, and discuss the pros and cons of possessing nuclear weapons. But now, the anti-nuclear movement is already so strong in Japan that it would be tough to even have such a meeting.