Last time, I talked about how, when you’re in a homogeneous group where the differences among people are extremely small, it becomes difficult to objectively evaluate yourself. When you move to a different group, you often find that your previous sense of values no longer applies.

That’s why, in such groups, there are often many unspoken rules like, “Hey, you shouldn’t say that.”

People who have made it to top universities through self-actualization or self-effort often used to feel a sense of inferiority. When you’re in a homogeneous group like that, you tend to develop inferiority complexes.

For example, if everyone in your grade scores between 60 and 70 points, and you get around 61 or 62, you might think, “Oh, I’m below average,” and start believing that you’re a poor student. Many people probably carry that belief for a long time.

Because of that, they feel they need to make up for it somehow — maybe by doing something a bit unusual to stand out, or dressing in eccentric ways after entering university to draw attention. But once they go out into society, they often struggle to understand that such behavior is no longer accepted.

Things That Used to Be Praised Can Start Sounding Like “Showing off”

Also, I was often cautioned that something I never thought of as bragging before could be taken as bragging now. There are times when even things you kept doing because you were once praised for them are no longer appreciated.

For example, I remember that the last time my academic background still seemed to carry some weight was right before I graduated from university. I went to a driving school in Tochigi Prefecture called Higashi-Ashikaga Driving School for a “16-day intensive course” to get my driver’s license. There were lots of students there. Normally, driving instructors are strict, speak harshly, and are often disliked because they scold you all the time. But at that school, the instructors praised me whenever the opportunity arose, so I thought, “They’re not that bad.”

When I was driving, one instructor asked me, “Okay, what does a green light mean?”
I answered, “It means you may go.”
He said, “Correct! That’s rare. Most people say, ‘It means go,’ but you said, ‘You may go.’ That’s right.”

Even with a green light, you have to look around and make sure no other cars are coming through, so you can’t always just go. When I said, “You may go,” he praised me, saying, “Yes, yes, that’s exactly right.”
At that time, there was still a bit of that academic-style evaluation going on—but that was the last of it.

After graduating and entering society, though, almost everything I said started sounding either arrogant or like bragging. Even if my bag looked a bit bulky, people would say, “You got books in there? Don’t show off like that.”
And if I said things like, “I tend to make calculation mistakes,” or “I don’t know the proper way to answer the phone yet,” those would still come across as sarcasm or snobbery.
 

 

“Being Mistaken for ‘Brown-Nosing’ — an Experience”

Also, during company training, I think there were evening classes in commercial English about twice a week after six o’clock. The instructor taught long sessions, so there was one break; he took a liking to me, and during that roughly five-minute break I would sometimes rub his shoulders.

Because he liked me and we talked a lot, when I gave his shoulders a rub people started saying, “That guy — outrageous. So cheeky,” and everyone got mad. I was like, “Huh? What? Getting in trouble for rubbing the teacher’s shoulders? I don’t understand why I should be scolded,” but the feeling was, “Is he trying to curry favor so he can get an even higher evaluation?” — that sort of reaction.

I didn’t see it that way at all. The instructor was elderly and looked tired; I was sitting near the front, so when he asked, “Could you massage my shoulder for a moment?” I said, “Sure,” and did so willingly. Normally that’s not something people would be angry about. Rubbing the teacher’s shoulders isn’t something that should make you disliked — but that’s not how it looked to others. They glared at me as if thinking, “He’s just piling on top of things, trying to boost his score and his standing in the company.” That was rough.

The teacher, for his part, probably felt he ought to say something after being massaged, so he oddly praised me sometimes during class. Usually, because of confidentiality, an instructor who teaches about different industries will only teach about one company per industry. But this was commercial/trade English, and by chance he was teaching about two companies; one of them happened to be Sumitomo Corporation.
At that time, I was a new employee assigned to the Export Foreign Exchange Section of the Foreign Exchange Department. Maybe as a way of thanking me for massaging his shoulders, and even though he didn’t need to say it in front of everyone, he said something like, “At Sumitomo, the top people are assigned to the foreign exchange export section — it’s the same everywhere.”

He shouldn’t have said that in front of everyone, but he did, and that made the “price” of the shoulder massage feel heavier. I thought, why bring up other companies’ business? Later I heard that many people were thinking, “Shouldn’t we beat that guy up?” Someone actually told me directly, “Man, I wanted to hit you.” I said, “What? Why should I be hit?” They replied, “It pisses us off how he flatters and tries to get in people’s good graces. How far does his self-love go? How self-centered — he just can’t help wanting to be praised. I want to punch him. I’m not the only one; the others say the same.” They said the whole “assassination squad” was thinking, “Let’s give him a beating.” I was stunned. I never imagined people would think like that.

At university I was in a fairly homogeneous group, so I didn’t consider myself especially elite; I knew I had lots of faults and friends often pointed them out. I was rough around the edges, lacked social polish and Tokyo-style common sense, and I knew I needed to study and improve. But they didn’t look at me that way — instead they thought, “That guy gave shoulder massages a few times, so let’s jump him,” as if planning an ambush. That really shocked me.

If You Hold an Alumni Gathering, You’ll Be “Disliked”

When I was drinking with one of my seniors, he told me, “Listen — never mention the name of your university.” Even at a bar, while drinking, he kept saying, “Don’t bring up your university’s name. If you have to, just say ‘at my university,’ but never say the name directly.”

He also said, “You know how on the company bulletin board there are all these notices about alumni gatherings — like, ‘This Friday, alumni from such-and-such university are having a party’? Have you noticed that ours is the only university that never has one?”

Then he explained, “We don’t have reunions because if we held one, everyone would dislike us. That’s why no one does it. We all keep quiet about it and pretend not to know each other — even between seniors and juniors. That’s just how it is.”

I had absolutely no idea about any of that.

In short, I thought there was nothing wrong with people from the same school getting together, but apparently, it’s considered unpleasant — even something that makes others dislike you. They said, “People will think you’re trying to form a clique.” And apparently, that’s true to human nature — people tend to see that as threatening, like you’re creating a rival group.

So I was told, “Don’t do things that make you a perceived enemy,” and I realized there were still many things about the world I didn’t understand.

As Your Position Becomes More Recognized, People Begin to Judge You More Strictly

Even if you do the same things, they’ll be perceived differently depending on your position. That’s why you have to change your behavior accordingly.
For example, even if you’re still a teenager, once you start receiving awards that are typically given to people in their thirties, you must possess the common sense and manners expected of someone in their thirties. If you suddenly achieve a high position, you might not realize it right away—but you should observe how people ten years older than you conduct themselves and learn from them.

Conversely, if thirty-year-olds who win such awards go around saying things like, “This movie is stupid,” or “The director’s guidance is wrong,” or “That young actor’s performance is terrible,” and then a teenager imitates that behavior and says similar things, that teenager will likely be disliked. That sort of thing happens.

So it’s important to understand that as your surroundings change and your position becomes more recognized, the scrutiny of others becomes harsher.

Nevertheless, there are still people—even graduates of top universities—who, no matter how old they get, boast things like “I graduated from the University of Tokyo,” “I’m from Keio,” “I went to Kyoto University,” or “I graduated from Waseda.” That’s something that really needs to be reconsidered.

At Keio, for instance—though the Faculty of Law has improved in recent years—back in our generation about forty years ago, the Faculty of Medicine was indeed excellent, but since medical graduates typically didn’t enter the corporate world, the Faculty of Economics, ever since Yukichi Fukuzawa’s time, was Keio’s flagship department. In society, there was a general perception that graduates of the Faculty of Economics were the most outstanding.

So, Keio graduates would always make sure people knew they were from the Faculty of Economics. Graduates from other faculties wouldn’t usually mention their department unless asked, but economics graduates would always introduce themselves by saying, “I’m from Keio’s Faculty of Economics.”

At Waseda, the situation was similar. Nowadays, the Faculty of Law is quite competitive, but in our time, the School of Political Science and Economics clearly stood out as the best. Waseda graduates from that department would also introduce themselves by saying, “I’m from Seikei (Political Science and Economics)” the first time they met someone.

Graduates from other faculties might eventually say where they were from if asked, but rarely right away. Only after some conversation would they reveal, “Well, I’m from the School of Commerce,” or “From the School of Social Sciences,” and so on—but never upfront. That’s how it was.

Even so, some people continue to talk like that well into their thirties or forties. Even in their late thirties, some Keio graduates would insist, “The Faculty of Economics is basically a separate university—it’s Keio Economics University; don’t lump us together with other departments like that ‘Foolish Faculty.’”

Nowadays, things are different, but back then, the deviation score (academic ranking) was about ten points higher for the Faculty of Economics. After the economic bubble burst in the 1990s, Keio’s economics program suffered quite a bit and lost popularity, while around the time Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto took office, the Faculty of Law’s reputation rose. So now it’s not like that anymore. But in those days, law graduates from Keio used to self-deprecatingly say, “I graduated from Keio’s ‘Foolish Faculty.’”

I later heard from my wife that Waseda people say the same thing. I said, “Oh, really? Even Waseda graduates say that?” I thought maybe the whole school was jokingly called “Bakada University” (a play on “Baka,” meaning fool), but apparently, they also use the term “Foolish Faculty” just like Keio people did.

When you’re fresh out of college, it might be understandable to mention your school’s name from time to time. But after a certain number of years, if you’re still bringing it up, people will start saying things like, “Hey, are you stupid or what?” They’ll tell you, “Are you still bragging about your academic background, thinking it will help you at work? You’re such a fool,” or “Don’t you realize you’re just making more enemies that way?”