A “Wake-Up” Call to Overcome Emotional Trauma (part 1)
World Teacher’s Message No.312

The Question:

I always advise “try harder” to people who say things like, “I’ve lost my mind”, “I’m carrying old wounds, and my heart is broken”, but it seems difficult for them to get over a broken heart. Any advice would be appreciated.

Excerpt from the lecture titled “I Will Never Say Die”
Given at Kurumehigashi Shibu Shoja of Happy Science on August 2, 2011


Master Ryuho Okawa

I guess time has stopped for them. Such people are stuck in time. Time stops at that point and does not flow. The mind always returns to that place. Even though they are living now, they always return to “the time when they were wounded”.

It is the same even if they die and return to the other world. It brings them back to the most shocking incidents and moments of their life.

This is also related to their destination in the other world. It is easy for them to live in a place or scene that their mind is drawn to in the other world.

For “people with a broken heart” as you have described, suppose they are somewhat depressed. They don’t like to be told, “Do your best!” They say, “I’m already doing my best, so why are you saying that?” Depressed people feel even worse when they are encouraged or told to do their best. They feel more pressure, so they don’t want to be told that and want to be left alone.

However, after the Great East Japan Earthquake, messages such as “Ganbare Japan” (Cheer up, Japan) were posted here and there. Even Japan Airlines posted messages such as “Ganbarou Japan (Let’s go, Japan)” on the body of their planes. Can they say this?

Therefore, people with depression tend to get more depressed when they see energetic people. They feel like they are being judged or weighed down when they are encouraged. That’s often said in medical and psychological fields.




It Is Important to Give Them a “Wake-Up” Call

That being said, I think they need to wake up at some point.

Buddhism is based on “awakening”. The word “enlightenment” also means “awakening”.

Every day, every morning, you wake up. When you wake up in a world different from the world of your dreams, you suddenly realize reality. You will realize what you have to do today, and what you have to do first thing in the morning, and start moving.

The same thing applies to those who are depressed. They are in a state of having a nightmare, still sleeping. So those who have never healed from old wounds are living in a nightmare and need to wake up from it.

Therefore, we need to think about how we can trigger them to “wake up”. If you just say, “Cheer up!”, it may not be enough.

There are people who say, “I get really tired when I see people who are doing well.”

When I asked my secretary, “Are you physically strong? Are you tough?”, she replied, “I can run a full marathon.” I regret that I asked. Running a full marathon is quite risky. After running 42 kilometers, you don’t know what will happen to your body the next day, but there are people who can do that.

Some people get a little sick seeing other people who are very energetic. You may have to adjust a little, but you need to wake them up. They are still dreaming. It is necessary for them to wake up. You don’t need to speak so loudly that you break their eardrums (audience laughed). It is not necessary to say out loud, but you need to give them “an awakening word”. I think it is possible to guide them to the right direction.




Don’t Miss the Right Moment to Give a Helping Hand

However, the key here is the timing. I think that it is important to keep observing them and “aiming for the perfect timing” to help them.

It is necessary to look at the person’s daily flow, personal relationships, work, etc., and with perfect timing, turn around and offer a helping hand. It is important not to miss the timing.

If you try to bulldoze everything for your own convenience without seeing the differences between people, sometimes it doesn’t quite work that way. I think it’s important to understand the differences in people.

However, as I said earlier, these people need to be awakened. The question is what needs to be done to awaken them.

It varies from person to person. Some people don’t get up even with four alarm clocks; they turn them all off without remembering doing so.

Even if you place the alarm clocks in various places as far away as possible so they can’t be stopped, they are all turned off before you know it. They stopped it without remembering doing so, but say things like, “These clocks are broken” or “Someone stopped it.” That’s not true. They don’t remember that they stopped them and went back to sleep.

Even if the alarm sounds like a bomb, there are people who stop it without knowing and fall back to sleep. How persistent they are is different from person to person; we need to take that into consideration.

Broadly speaking, you can roughly divide these people into four or five patterns. I think 4 to 5 patterns would be good. Then you can decide which pattern is right for the person and do it. If there is only one pattern, it will come in short.

A “Wake-Up” Call to Overcome Emotional Trauma (part 1)
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